According To Exodus 22:16 Sex Before Marriage Is Not A Sin. The Real Sin Is In Sex WITHOUT Marriage -By Joe Dauda

 

 According To Exodus 22:16 Sex Before Marriage Is Not A Sin. The Real Sin Is In Sex WITHOUT Marriage -By Joe Dauda

Dear Pastor/Preacher, the Bible is not your Book; it is God’s Book. And no man has any right to hide any information God has revealed in the Bible. If He did not want people to have that information, it wouldn’t have been in the Bible.

This Is A Serious Topic. 

Not For Readers Younger Than 18

Or Those Too Distracted To Invest 30 Minutes In Learning!!!

At least three of my close friends (all ladies) married as actual virgins. I also personally know at least two guys who married as virgins. It goes without saying that there are countless others. This is the most beautiful thing that can happen and God is immensely honoured by the lives of such people. But this piece is to address cases that fall short of this desirable standard.

For example, some days ago, I read that, after giving him a baby, David Adeleke (aka Davido) has announced his intention to marry his Baby Mama, Chioma. This marriage is scheduled for sometime next year.

In the eyes of God and according to the Bible, this is acceptable, especially if, from the very first rump, Davido did not have a hit-and-run escapade in mind. For the sake of my readers, I wish to clarify that this piece has nothing to do with endorsing Davido’s kind of music or his music videos. Because he is a very popular young man, I’m just commenting on his publicly announced intention to marry a lady with whom he has had a baby since it presents a convenient true story one can learn from

 God is more realistic than the shallow Christian tradition that criminalizes sex before marriage. To be clear, God’s preference is for sex within marriage. However, the marriage can follow the sex act without any negative eternal consequence for the parties involved. Not my opinion.

Incidentally, the verse of Scripture that proves that the potentially sinful act of sex before marriage can safely be converted into a righteous act (by marriage between the two) is the same verse that compels a man to marry any woman he lies with. That verse is the basis for the so-called touch-and-take-principle that was meant to undergird the interaction between the sexes and ensure that no woman is ever prostituted for pleasure by any man, no matter his rank. Here it is:

 Indeed, there is no room for prostitution in God’s economy. Whether married or single, God’s command for any man that touches a woman is to marry that woman. The only stated exception is utter refusal by the father of the lady; verse 17. 

Exodus 22:17

“If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.”

 My informed guess is that there could be other factors that could excuse the man’s obligation — like if the lady marries someone else or refuses the marriage herself for any number of reasons. It is possible for the lady to have a genuine reason — like some troubling detail about the man she finds out only after the deed had been done — but that is not the burden of this piece. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 also suggests that, if another man lies with the lady, the first man that had laid with her is actually forbidden from taking her as wife; again, that is a topic for another day. Except for genuine reasons like the ones mentioned above — or except she was raped — the refusal of a lady to marry the man that has lied with her may amount to prostitution because it would mean she consented to lie with a man with no intention of marrying him, which is exactly the mindset of a prostitute and the typical template for prostitution.

Unlike most people think, it is not God’s will for two adults of opposite sexes to lie with each other and then move on in their separate ways. Each time this happens, except for the special cases highlighted above, that is prostitution and both parties are guilty. Specifically, the Bible describes a man that touches a woman purely for pleasure as a whoremonger, making the woman a whore. 

 Are you a whore?

Are you a whoremonger?

None of such persons will make it into the kingdom of God. So it is in your best interest to get your act together. Whatever you did in ignorance is past and God will wink at these; Acts 17:30. But, as a young man, note that God will henceforth hold you guilty if you touch a woman and refuse to marry her. And, as a young woman, do not even allow a man touch you before marriage because, even if he is a child of God and even if he is armed with the knowledge of Exodus 22:16, he has a human heart and the Bible describes that heart as “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked”; Jeremiah 17:9. You stand the risk of being used and dumped. Besides, even when his intentions are pure, unforeseen complications may arise.

To appreciate the wisdom of God in mandating marriage to a woman even after just a single sex act with that woman, consider the fact that a single sex act carries the potential of resulting in a pregnancy and a pregnancy carries the potential of introducing a baby into the world. God’s command for the man to take as wife any woman he violates is thus a special protection initiative for the woman as well as for the innocent baby. Trust me, if men knew that they had to marry every lady they had sex with — even if it was just once — they will be more modest than what any hellfire preacher could manage to induce. Their self-interest will sanitize their desires to the point of self censorship. No man would welcome the prospect of a life long responsibility of husbanding a woman he does not care about just for a moment’s pleasure. It is exactly because this responsibility is absent that men do what they do. Unfortunately, they are not wholly to blame because preachers don’t teach them the whole truth about sex from the perspective of the Bible. Everybody just pretends and voices sanctimonious cliches that have little bearing with reality

 Knowing the wiring of men (that most of them naturally love and seek opportunities for accidental discharges even when they don’t care about the woman in question) God made the obligation of taking the violated woman as wife to serve as a check on men’s natural propensity to hit and run.

A godly society ran on the basis of obedience to Exodus 22:16 will have no spinsters roaming around unmarried; it will have no abortions, and it will have no prostitutes. Talk about the divine wisdom of God!

It may sound good for a Pastor to mount a pulpit and be screaming at his congregation that sex before marriage is a sin. But God understands the real world and what is very likely to happen. And because of the grave implications of the act of sex, He uses His divine wisdom to make the best out of a potentially bad situation by protecting the vulnerable — namely the woman and the child. This He does by mandating marriage. 

Dear Pastor/Preacher, the Bible is not your Book; it is God’s Book. And no man has any right to hide any information God has revealed in the Bible. If He did not want people to have that information, it wouldn’t have been in the Bible

 Deuteronomy 29:29

“The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

By all means, teach young people chastity. God desires that no man or woman should taste of sex until AFTER they have gotten married. But don’t deny young people the information that the same God, in His infinite wisdom, provided in Exodus 22:16. This is so that, when something happens prematurely, they will know what the will of God is. If not, they may react in fear and get an innocent baby killed all because they are trying to hide what they have done, which is really not a sin except marriage is avoided (according to God in Exodus 22:16) but is regarded as a sin according to the church. Sharing this information could save the lives of countless unborn babies because it will help young people know that they are not to get down before marriage; but if they do, there is a godly way to proceed. That way, of course, is to get married. The fear that leads to abortion will then evaporate. 

We need courageous pastors to tell this truth especially to young people and save the lives of unborn babies!!! But parents do not have to wait for Pastors. They need to quickly have a heart-to-heart conversation with their sons. The focus is on men because men are the hunters in any normal sexual interaction, even though the media now encourages women to engage in the unnatural and fiendish act of hunting for men by themselves. 

As a parent, you may tell your son:

 My son, we are children of God and we are to obey all of His commandments. Please be very careful in your social interactions, especially with women in general. You must be chaste and flee youthful lusts. Wise king Solomon said you cannot take up hot coals and not expect to be burnt. Relating with ladies in an improper manner could result in things that may surprise you. The sexual drive is very strong and you shouldn’t count on taming it. Prevention is better than cure when it comes to maintaining chastity. And you will be happier if you wait until after marriage before ever having sex — and the name of our God will also be glorified. But, son, if you ever touch a woman, please understand that you have no right to move on. That would displease God greatly. His command in such a case is that you must endow that woman to be your wife. You can read that in Exodus 22:16. That is the implication of having sex before marriage: whether you love the woman or not, you must marry her. By having sex with her, you have lost the privilege of being able to change your mind about marrying her and everything is now cast in stone. By the word of the LORD, you are bound to take her as wife. Finally, I need to warn you that if a lady comes here and says you impregnated her, please know that you must marry that lady. And this marriage must be as soon as possible. I don’t believe that God, even in Exodus 22:16, envisaged a couple cohabiting without marriage on the excuse that they are planning on getting married. As soon as you touch a woman, all roads must lead to marrying her: the frequency of that relationship must change to one of preparation for marriage. Do you understand me?”

Such a talk will make young Christian men sexually smart, curtail stupid sexual experimentation, and, very critically, reduce unwanted pregnancies, which often end up with the additional sin of murder

If a man knows that his pastor or religious leader will insist (demand) that he marries any lady that comes forward with proof that she has been violated by that man, believe me, the man will be extremely cautious. And even if he deliberately wants to follow that route of sex before marriage, he will only attempt it with a lady qualified to be his wife, thereby sparing other ladies he may have wanted to violate just for the pleasure of the moment. This is reality and you cannot teach God about men’s sexuality. Remember, He created them and knows how they reason.

The fact is that many men, out of a sheer sense of honour, will marry the lady they impregnate. But the fear of the church and the shame that awaits them if discovered will cause a good number of these same men to try to hide their act by aborting the pregnancy. This is a tragedy of monumental proportions because impregnating a lady before marriage (while not recommended) is something which God has already resolved by commanding marriage to be a consequence of. If you understand that every sex act can result in impregnation, the above statement is authorized by Exodus 22:16, which can be paraphrased to read thus:

“And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed and impregnates her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.”

The power the church now exercises actually belongs to the parents of the lady. Note that only the parents of a lady have the power to refuse her marriage — even though God commanded that, after lying with her, a man “must surely endow her to be his wife”. See Exodus 22:17. God did not give such power to the church and, well understood, the church has no business in marriage. This is not necessarily an indictment of today’s Church leaders, who are just following a tradition that had been firmly established long before they were born. But tradition is not the same thing as God’s will and, in some cases (as this) could even be contrary to God’s will. Just like Jesus Christ was invited to a wedding (which is primarily a deal between two families) there is nothing wrong in inviting a church pastor or elder to join a wedding ceremony. But, biblically speaking, the church is not a primary stakeholder in enacting a marriage. The church has thus usurped the power of parents and created more sinners than saints as a result. How?

 For example, especially if he is not a criminal but is legitimately earning his living and if he shares the same faith with them, there are many parents out there who will be pleased with a man who impregnates their daughter and does not deny it but is rather ready to go all the way. On the other hand, the church would often frown at this — in total ignorance of the revealed will of God — causing knee jerk abortions and churning out clever hypocrites. Furthermore, in the eyes of God, the dowry alone is the token of transaction in a marriage. He synonymously referred to that in Exodus 22:16 as an “endowment” and explicitly as “dowry” in verse 17. Not surprisingly, many men today are unable to get married because of the mistaken belief that a marriage ceremony must accompany a marriage, with church members and a bunch of others as guests. The damage this entrenched tradition has caused will only be known in the life to come.

Except in cases of extreme poverty (where parents are forced to submit to the whims of a rich or powerful man violating their daughter even without marriage on the horizon) the knowledge of parents about a relationship is often a sign that the man intends it to end in marriage. When a man is out for pleasure alone, he does everything to keep his relationship with a lady secret. The reason is so that he can also dump her in secret or so that he will keep prostituting her without ever being required to take her as wife. The last person he will want to inform about this sort of relationship is the father of the lady because that is more or less like an announcement of intention to marry the girl. Allowing the father of a lady know about your relationship with a lady is basically equivalent to asking for his permission to marry her. The whoremonger will never make this move because his endgame is millions of miles away from marriage. And these are the sort of men that expect the lady to abort any pregnancy that  results — without even bothering to tell them!

To set the record straight, it is pertinent to note that the church has some powers. And there will be more righteousness in the world if the church focused on using that power given to it in the Bible and not usurped through tradition. To discourage sexual promiscuity and other sins that tarnish the image of Christ, the Bible says that anyone openly living in fornication should be ostracized by the church. In fact, eating with such a person could mean disloyalty to Jesus Christ. This person should be marginalized to the greatest extent possible: 1 Corinthians 5:11. However, as proven by 2 Thessalonians 3:14, 15, the marginalization of an erring brother is not to destroy him. The Bible says he is not to be treated as an enemy, verse 15. The whole idea is to cause this unwise person to be so ashamed that they are driven to repentance and a change of their ways. And except you no longer care about your common bond with a group of people, being corporately ostracized by them will be sufficient emotional punishment to bring you back to your senses. Instead of using this God-given power, the church’s disposition is to harass those whom God did not command them to harass (those that have had sex before marriage) while closing their eyes to rampant fornication among members, as long as this fornication does not result in pregnancy to embarrass the church, not realizing or caring that this stance has caused some to quietly opt for abortion. When the persons involved have a high profile in society, some churches can even cut them some slack, even when pregnancy occurs before marriage. But if you are down the ladder, you may come under tremendous “church discipline” or suffer some form of censorship for impregnating a lady, regardless of the fact that you are willing to obey the biblical injunction of getting married to her as soon as practicable. This church censorship may be in the form of nomenclature and is patently ridiculous. If pregnancy comes before marriage, instead of calling your ceremony a “wedding”, it will simply be referred to as “church blessing”, as if the church can guarantee that many a so-called white church wedding isn’t between people who have been having sex and even living together. The idea is that a church blessing isn’t the full package and a sort of official reprimand. But, young man, hear the word of the LORD: as long as you have paid your woman’s dowry, there is no divine disapproval in taking her as wife and no categorization by men has any significant consequence. The interesting thing is that, during a church blessing ceremony (mostly reserved for those who got pregnant before marriage) there is tacit disapproval from church members, including single ladies and guys who may be guilty of the murder of several children through abortion, but who were “sophisticated” enough to know how to deal with that “inconvenience”. The ironic thing is that the heavily pregnant lady being looked down upon and derided by winks and giggles may be facing her public ridicule only because her conscience was too tender to permit her to commit abortion and because she chose to rather suffer the derision of church members, some of whom she is actually holier than. What this means is that some white church weddings supposedly between a chaste man and a chaste lady is actually the solemnization of a union of murderers who are guilty of more abortions than they can count, or whores and whoremongers who are drunk on sex with each other or each other plus several other third parties. Just because they were brutish enough to murder a child (or sly enough to conceal their life of sexual permissivenesses) the church rewards them with a so-called white wedding (bloody wedding in the eyes of God) and punishes the lady without the stiff conscience of a murderer by downgrading the enactment of her union as a “church blessing.